TWD: Hakima 2 Angel of Death
by Javamonsoon
Summary: With a camp of strangers threatened by a large herd of zombies, Hakima finds herself doubting her resolve to survive on her own... but would it really be so bad to trust in strangers again for a shot at love? Hakima always has a plan B, though... Rated M, so don't complain if you feel touched in the privates.
1. Charmed I'm sure

**1**

Hakima leaned with her back against a tree and just stared straight ahead. She felt miserable, dirty, hungry and thirsty. Ever since Jake had thrown her against his car, her nose kept giving her trouble. She had some trouble inhaling through it, compensating by breathing through her mouth. It made her mouth dry.

All kinds of thoughts were on Hakima's mind. She was content with her decision to subject Jake to an eternity of suffering, even though she wasn't sure if Jake would still be there after his corpse turned. She hoped so.

The first day, Emily's death didn't bother her so much. People die. Hakima had seen it, acknowledged it and had filed it away. But as the time wore on, Emily's death started to weigh down on her. It had taken a lot to keep her affection for the minor inside when she had her last talk with Jake, and it had taken even more out of her to not go over to Emily's corpse and maybe say something heartfelt.

It wasn't supposed to go down like it did. In Hakima's addled mind she had imagined an emotional reunion between the two of them. She would close in on Emily and Emily would surrender to Hakima's stroking hands and impatient kisses. Emily would finally know how Hakima really felt about her and tell Hakima that she too, wanted nothing more than this.

It wasn't supposed to end like this!

Hakima blinked to make the stinging in her eyes go away. Emily's death was a jarring experience for Hakima. Not only was there the realisation that the minor would never be in her life again, but also the knowing that her feelings for Emily were wrong.

You can love kids, but you can't be in love with them or want to lay down with them.

Yet, it was that very wrong emotion that caused Hakima, in the middle of her mental meltdown, to retrace her steps to join up with Jake's caravan again. A journey that was conceived in madness and carried out in brutal reality with Hakima as the last one standing.

**2**

Hakima's three day journey from the bandit-camp to where she was now sitting at a tree had been rather uneventful. Walkers a-plenty, but living people she had not encountered. Hakima had been sustaining herself with the roll of sweets she had found in Cleetus' pick-up truck, sucking on the pastilles as long she could before swallowing the pieces down.

Already in a very unstable state of mind, malnutricion wasn't exactly helping Hakima's hesistant recovery to a modicrum of normalcy. But then again, what was normal in a world where the dead walk the earth and do everything in their power to turn you into their main-course?

Hakima had always known that she wasn't average. She knew she was a maniac since she was old enough to understand what her damage enabled her to do. She had embraced it, had revelled in it, had honed it and had made it her own. Nothing stood in her way and if something did, she merely stepped over it. Her stay with the Marines had given her the tools to hone her mania even further, to direct it and give it purpose. Totally ruthless as she was, her superiors let her get away with murder. Totally without boundaries as she was, her fellow-marines loved her.

Even though they hated Lieutenant Jake Deacon, they covered for Hakima on the occasions when she went AWOL to persue the sado-masochistic relationship she maintained with Jake Deacon. Jake Deacon loved her, against everything he believed in and stood for. Hakima had never loved Jake Deacon. In some twisted way, she loved that he was willing to do what she asked of him. To tear into her, abuse her hard and not to stop when she screamed 'when'. Anything to get rid of her desire to be with young girls sexually. Those feelings shamed Hakima deeply as she considered her pedophilia as her only flaw. The one line she didn't want to cross. Both Jake Deacon and Hakima were fighting for control over the same person. Herself.

**3**

Hakima ran her hand past her nose. Her nose wouldn't stop running after that run in with Jake Deacon's car. It annoyed her to no end, but she didn't dare snorting. She could see the silhouettes of several walkers between the trees. The walkers were relatively far away, but their slow swaying back and forth was uniquely theirs. When the breeze didn't rustle the leaves on the trees, she could faintly hear the walker's guttural growls.

In Hakima's mind she had come to an understanding with the walkers. She would leave them alone and they would leave her alone. If Hakima had killed a walker, it was because the the truce was broken by that walker. Killing walkers had become a 'been there, done that' kind of deal to Hakima. And with no one around to give her a slap on the ass for a particularly nice kill, what was the point?

Hakima got ready to get on her feet. Maybe there was a little town nearby where she could find food and shelter. Maybe even clean herself up, far as far as that was still possible. Just as she placed her Clint Eatwood-hat on her head, she picked up on a faint noise. Hakima instantly recognized the noise as a struggle and it was coming her way.

Hakima looked at the silhouettes of the walkers while keeping an ear to the sounds of the struggle. The walkers didn't react to what she was hearing. Yet. Hakima sighed. Almost without making any sound, she pulled her weekender close and retrieved her bayonet from it.

Hakima couldn't remember where she had gotten the bayonet. Or who she had killed to get it. It was a long, razorsharp blade with brass-knuckle grip. Each knuckle had a sharp spike attached to it and could be srewed loose. Despite the bulky look of the bayonet, it was very wieldy and easy to handle. Hakima had small and delicate hands, but those hands were trained and had a power and grip that surprised everyone who's hand she shook. The bayonet was as deadly in her hands as it would be in the hands of 5feet5inch tall man with the same relevant training.

With the bayonet in hand, Hakima silently rose to her feet and moved towards the sound of the struggle. Whatever what was going, Hakima had to stop it before she herself was endangered. She didn't care who or what she had to kill. Hakima merely wanted it to stop.

**4**

Former police-sergeant Burt Williams was defending himself with all his might. His years as police-officer in Atlanta and his training has given him nerves of steel and very good reflexes. Before the outbreak just a month and a half ago, Williams was well liked by his peers, respected for his ability to never lose sight of the law regardless of the circumstances. Many called him rigid in his professionalism, but no one would pass up on the chance to work a shift with Williams. It was almost a gaurantee you would return home without so much as a scratch on you when you had Williams on your side. And if Williams wanted to throw the book at everyone and anything, so be it. Williams was one of those select cops who could be strict and make people understand why he was strict.

Maybe it was because Williams' face didn't sport that intense look like the younger police-officers had. He didn't sport a buzz-cut and took great pride in his goatee. There wasn't a stone-killer look in his eyes, but they would always underscore his words. Williams was a beat-cop through and through.

In all his years on the force, his only defeat had come from an arabic-american Marine who moved so fast, with such force and so efficient that Williams had stood no chance. He still remembered the little smile on that Marine's mouth as she even told him so.

It didn't bother Williams so much that it had happened to him, it bothered him that had happened at all. Even with all that was going on, the outbreak, his escape from Atlanta with his family of five and the weeks after that, surviving on the road with other refugees, he couldn't live it down.

Williams regretted that he had turned down an offer from one of his travel-companions to come along when he got ready to go hunting. They hadn't encountered a walker in a few days, nor had they spotted any sign of them. Williams' wasn't even sure if he could bring back more than a hare or two. He saw no need to bring a companion.

Now he had his left forearm to the throat of a walker and was pushing back with all the strength he had in him and two more walkers were closing in. Somehow, they had suprised him, come up on him while he was unawares. Williams had no time to think about it. The only thing he thought about was that he had been stupid. Lured to lower his guard because he thought it was safe enough to do so. While he tried to grab his duty-weapon, he fleetingly wondered how it could have been possible to so quickly forget about the danger the walkers posed.

It never rains when you carry an umbrella.

The walker upon Williams did not give up. Williams could not reach his duty-weapon because of it, he needed both his hands. The two other walkers were inching ever closer and Williams knew it would be over soon.

But he was determined not to go down without a fight.

**5**

Suddenly, someone drove a large blade into the walker's head and kept it there for a while. Williams did not immedeately understand what was happening, but was acutely aware that the walker had stopped fighting him.

He looked at the small woman who kept hanging on with her right hand to the bayonet while looking at the two walkers that were now uncomfortably close by. The woman turned her head sharply to Williams and placed her left finger on her lips to signal him that he should remain silent. Then she switched hands one the bayonet and easily pulled it free from the walker lefthandedly.

With light steps, but amazingly swift, the small woman closed the distance between her and the two walkers. With the bayonet still in her left hand, she drove it into one walker's mouth, while pushing the other walker over with her free right hand. As both walkers fell, she kept on walking for a few steps, then she turned around and retrieved her bayonet. She made short work of the last walker and then bounded towards Williams.

It all had happened so fast that Williams barely had the chance to register what was happening before him, let alone realising that the small woman was now coming at him. With a few steps left, she launched herself at Williams and the both of them went to the ground. Only Williams was a mess of flailing arms and the small woman was totally in control.

Williams landed painfully on his back and the small woman landing on top of him knocked the air out of his chest. He realised that the small woman was holding the bayonet above her head with both her hands and then, blindinly fast, was bringing it down.

Williams closed his eyes. It was all over.

He actually felt the cold steel brush his right-ear as the woman drove the bayonet into the ground dangerously close to Williams' head. Then he felt her hair brushing over his face and he heard calm and controled breathing in his ear.

"Tag. You're it." whispered the woman after a little while, followed by a pleasant giggle, "You can open your eyes now, schoolgirl."

Williams opened his eyes. The small woman was still sitting on his chest. Much of her face was hidden by her Clint Eastwood-hat and her hair, but Williams recognized her instantly, now that he didn't had to fight for dear life.

"You! I-"

The woman quickly placed a dirty hand on his mouth, "Quiet, fool.", she whispered, "There are more walkers in the trees. If you need to prattle nonsense, at least don't get me killed for it. Allah!"

As she removed her hand from Williams' mouth, he took a second to try again, "You're the Marine that attacked me in Atlanta, aren't you? What was your name again? Hakima Gunay, wasn't it?"

Hakima didn't answer Williams, but instead reached for her bayonet and wrestled it free from the earth with remarkably little effort. Then she brought her face close to Williams' and the ripe smell of her unwashed body washed over his senses.

"All I see is a man.", Hakima whispered, "And men took my Emily away from me. You're an animal. Do you have anything to eat?"

"I'm terribly sorry for what must have happened,", Williams whispered back, ".., but I was no party to what happened to this Emily."

"Still, the only reason you're alive now is because I recognized you before I was going to kill you.", Hakima argued, "The only thing worse than walkers are men. Do you have anything to eat?"

Williams resigned. He didn't have to ask anything further about this Emily Hakima was talking about and how that related to men being animals. It made him sad that in these trying times, a fight with a walker was a lesser evil than the struggle to avoid rapegangs. The world had become an even more dangerous place than it always had been, moreso for women. Not that he counted Hakima to those women. Hakima, he figured, would just kill her attackers and call it fair play. Williams decided to answer the question that he could help Hakima with.

"There's food in the camp, an hour's walk from here."

Hakima involuntarily tensed up and Williams became uncomfortable under the force her legs excerted on his ribcage.

"Stupid fuck!", Hakima whispered, "You're doing it again, Jake! You don't see a walker and think that it is safe to play happy camper. You'll get everybody killed. Stupid fuck. Stupid fuck. Stu-"

"HEY!", Williams said sharply and then lowered his voice to a whisper again as he noticed that Hakima was tightening her grip on her bayonet, "I'm not Jake. All right? I'm not Jake. I'm Burt. Easy does it. Easy now. Easy... Way better. We haven't seen walkers in days, this is the first time I ran into a group of them."

Hakima blinked, "You're not Jake...", it sounded confused.

"I'm Burt. You just saved my life. Hey, look at me... Are you feeling okay?"

Hakima tensed up again, "Don't even try..."

"Look, Hakima, can I call you Hakima? Hakima, I'm not going to hurt you. We have food in the camp. And a RV with a shower. God knows you need a good scrubbing.", Williams paused to let it sink in with Hakima and then summarized, "Food? Shower?"

"You don't want to understand.", Hakima said while fighting against tears, "I've seen this before. I..."

Hakima suddenly rose to her feet and stepped away from Williams. Williams rose to his elbows as he watched Hakima shrugging and making helpless getures with her lefthand. Her Clint Eastwood-hat and curtain of caked raven hair made it impossible to gauge her face.

"Your group is dead, Jake! You're going to kill them again, aren't you? Aren't you?", Hakima spoke softly, but Williams feared she was close to screaming. And again this Jake-fellow. It was obvious to Williams that Hakima had a deeper understanding of the walkers, or at least knew something he didn't knew yet. It could also be that the traumitized woman was merely projecting past events and was living in some surreal mix-up of past and present.

Williams ungraciously rose to his feet and dusted his hands off. He addressed Hakima with a hushed voice, "Hakima, look at me... hey, overhere. Look at me.., that's it. I'm not this Jake you keep talking about. I'm Burt. Burt. And please, stop giving me that horror-movie creepy girl peeks through hair look."

Hakima seemed to think about something, Williams couldn't tell. It seemed like an eternity had passed when Hakima suddenly started moving again. It startled Williams.

"I left my gear behind when I came over to save your ass. I'm going to get it now. You really have food at your camp?"

Williams couldn't help but smile at that, "...and a shower, soap and I think we have a girl in camp your size too, so clean clothes shouldn't be too hard to find too. If you don't mind unicorns and rainbows."

Hakima froze and Williams already regretted the remark. Hakima was like a minefield to him. But Hakima set herself in motion again and beckoned Williams to follow her. For now, he seemed to be in the clear.


	2. Happy campers

**1**

Hakima and Williams didn't talk much, mainly because Hakima urged Williams to keep silent whenever he tried to make small talk. It was when he started to pay attention to the way the lithe woman moved that Williams noticed she hardly made any sound at all, but still set the pace. Williams had the feeling that Hakima was holding back for him. It gnawed at him because in everything Hakima did there seemed to be a vibe of iritation of not beeing able to move at her own tempo.

It also made Williams painfully aware of how much noise he was generating. Compared to Hakima, Williams was like a chaotic marching-band. He took solace in the knowledge that Hakima was a Marine scout sniper, a professional who could lay in hiding for hours, almost soundless, to make one decisive shot at the right time.

Hakima halted, lowered into a crouch and held up her left fist. Williams followed Hakima into a crouch and like her, tried to listen for walker-sounds. When he noticed that Hakima was looking into a specific direction, he whispered, "The camp is over there."

"You mean carnival, not camp.", Hakima hissed, "Why don't you guys just put up a big sign that reads: 'Free all you can eat'?"

"You can't constantly live in fear, Hakima.", Williams defended, "Besides, I don't even hear the camp from here. I know the camp is there, but I don't hear them."

Hakima raised her hands, turned her palms up and raised her face to the sky, "Allah..."

"Oh, come on, now you're being silly."

"It's not about living in fear, it's about sensibility.", Hakima argued.

"How about lightening up a little, Hakima. I understand the gravity of the situation, I do, but we're human beings."

"That excuse has cost more lives than the plague has ever claimed. Take point, we're in your territory now."

Williams shook his head and set himself in motion. He found it nerve-wrecking to have Hakima in his back. As soon as she had left his field of vision, it was as if she had stopped existing. He briefly wondered how a patrol of five scout snipers would ever find out if one of their own suddenly went missing during a manouvre. Then he realised that during the time Hakima had been on point she had been totally aware of his position at all times. No quick look-around, but a direct turn of her head directly at him. Now that Williams thought about it, he realised how uncanny that was.

Williams decided to try it and turned his head to the right.

"Here.", Hakima whispered from the left, "Don't worry and move along, always keep on go."

Williams shook his head and moved again, "It disturbs me that you're that silent."

"Silent? I'm a mess, my homies would chew me out over this performance."

"Right...", Williams chuckled.

"Seriously. I might as well have a big arrow floating over my head, pointing down at me. It's denting my professional pride.", Hakima spoke in a normal conversational tone of voice, "At any rate, the camp is making so much ruckus, we might as well talk normally now."

"Glad to do it.", Williams said, "I'm not cut out for that covert-ops behavior. Hey, if you don't mind my asking, and I mean no disrespect, but when you called upon God just then-"

"-I know what you're getting at. How can Allah exist if His children come back from the dead to prey on the living?"

"Yeah, thanks for understanding.", Williams grumbled.

"Well, that's between Allah and I, really. Only He can cast the ultimate verdict on me, so I trust in His wisdom."

"That's convenient. The zombies everywhere don't bother you at all? I find that hard to believe."

Hakima was silent for a while but then said, "You have more to fear from the living and your main focus should be on taking them out before they take you out."

Williams stopped and turned to look Hakima in the face, for as much that was possible, "You did not just say that."

Hakima shrugged, "The walkers are a known. Their motive is clear. There's nothing else. They don't hate you, they don't fear you and they don't care. The living will always have an ulterior motive and when you find out what that motive is, it'll be too late."

"Where does that leave you?", Williams asked in a bid to outsmart Hakima.

"Do you really think I would still be here, following you into that deathtrap you call a camp if I wasn't hungry and yearning for a shower?"

"It's rude to answer a question with a question.", Williams grunted.

"Weak.", was all Hakima had to say about that, "Move on, we're a target that's getting bigger by the second."

**2**

The camp was not as big as Hakima had feared. Upon entering the camp, she had just left William's side and had moved to were the survivors were maintaining a campfire. Slowly she let her weekender slide down to the floor and then she put down her sniper-rifle. Then Hakima just stood there, her mind filled with the horror that had ensued at Deacon's camp.

Williams walked over to the other campers, who had grouped together near the RV and were looking at the inmensely dirty woman near the fire.

"Hey, Burt,", an athletic man spoke as Williams came up next to him, "I see your huntingtrip was successful."

"Russel.", Williams acknowledged the athletic man, "It was a chance encounter. The girl and I go a ways back. By chance, she was close by and saved my ass from a few walkers."

Williams wife Kathryn face darkened, "How do you mean, go a ways back, Burt?"

"Kathryn, please. I tell you she saved my ass from a few walkers and what you pick up on is the fact that I know her from before? This is the Marine from the gunstore I told you about. The same marine that told me to go save my family."

Kathryn studied the woman who was just standing there a little while, "Seriously, Burt? That little cookie wrestled you to the floor?"

"Look, that girl has gone through hell since last I saw her. From what she was able to tell me, she lost her friends as well as her girlfriend. As in partner. She hasn't had a good meal in god-knows-how-long and,", Burt looked at an elderly couple, ".., she hasn't had a chance to get showered up for longer than that. Alvin and Reba, don't be angry with me, but I kinda promised her she could use the shower in the RV. She killed three walkers attacking me and I thought it was the least I could offer in return."

"Oh, you were quite right to do so, Burt.", Reba spoke, "I'm mighty interested to see what comes out from under all that filth." Reba laughed and walked over Hakima while looking over her shoulder to the group, "The rest of you, scoot. Girls need their privacy."

Williams opened his mouth to say something when Reba just took Hakima by the hand and guided her back to the RV. He closed his mouth as to his surprise Hakima just let herself be guided. Maybe it was because the elderly Reba had an easy going way about her that disarmed even the most grizzled mysochenist that Hakima didn't put up a struggle. Reba was one of those elderly ladies one couldn't help but like because of who she was.

Her husband Alvin, who had an empty pipe in his mouth he never parted with, ushered the little group outside the RV towards the campfire saying, "Reba is right, folks. Come along."

"So, is she going to stay now, Burt?", Kathryn inquired with an icey undercurrent in her voice.

"I don't think she will even if we begged her. And Kathryn, please stop acting jealous and hurt."

"If I know my Reba, and I think I do," Alvin mused aloud, ".., she will talk that girl into staying with us in the RV before the poor girl even understands what she is saying yes too."

As if on cue, Reba appeared in the door-opening of the RV and demand, "Alvin, be a dear and bring Hakima's weekender over, please?"

Alvin chuckled and as he picked up the weekender, "They're already on first-name basis. I tell you, I was married so fast to Reba, my head spun. Reba hasn't slown down since.". Alvin strolled over to the RV and handed the weekender to Reba, "Please don't make the girl believe she is our long lost daughter, Reba."

"Oh you!", Reba chuckled, "Go tell ghoststories to Dana's kids and be good.". Reba accepted the weekender and closed the RV-door, locking it.

**3**

Hakima watched the elderly woman locking the RV-door and place her weekender on the center-table. With deft hands, she closed the blinds and shut curtains were needed, "There, safe from prying eyes, Hakima-darling. The shower is to the back and don't be shy, there's nothing on you I haven't seen before.", Reba said motherly as she started rooting in some cabinets, "I'll prepare something to eat for you while you go from ugly duckling to beautiful swan. You look like those folk that don't eat pork on religious grounds..."

"On the money, ma'am. But I'm hungry enough to gnaw on a tin of Spam, just to get to the unholyness inside. I'm wondering with your husband meant just then?"

"Alvin? Oh, don't mind him. The old coot is just saying things. You know how men are. Though I won't mind have a young person staying with us. Sometimes, all Alvin can talk about is Vietnam. It be good to have someone around to talk about girly stuff. How do you feel about corned beef with some canned vegetables?"

"Don't show me the tins!", Hakima laughed, "I'll go feral and attack them with you still holding on, ma'am."

"Call me Reba, Hakima-darling, one more ma'am out of you and I'll sneak some pork in there."

"We wouldn't want that.", Hakima said while she was trying to shed her tanktop, "Aah!"

Reba turned around, alarmed by Hakima's agitation, "Do be careful, there's not much room in here, you know."

"I think that I'm too dirty to undress, my top sticks to my skin. Here goes...", Hakima clenched her teeth and then decisively pulled her top up, "Ouch! Motherfucker! Fuck!"

"I guess 'gosh-golly' didn't cut it, huh?", Reba said disapprovingly.

Hakima didn't think further discussion was nessecary on her outburst, "Did I break skin, Reba? Can you see?"

"No, a huge red spot near your left shoulder-blade, but that's the worst of it. Are we women supposed to have muscles like that? I can't say I've seen a girl before looking the way you look."

"I used to work out fanatically. Not to buff-up but to lean-out. Did all right in fitness competitions too. Never took first place because there was this Army-sergeant who was taller than me and appeared fitter because of that. Would've given anything to take the top-spot just once, only to wipe that smug-smile off of her face. Do you have an old newspaper I can sit on, Reba? I notice I'm still wearing my shoes and I don't want to make a mess of your cushions."

"Just sit down, Hakima-darling. Those cushions have had a special treatment. I can wipe them off with water and soap and they'll be as good as new."

Just the same, Hakima tried to sit down as gingerly as she could and quickly loosened her high-tops, hastingly wrestling them off her feet.

"Oooh, that's so good!", Hakima sighed and she wriggled her toes deeply enjoying the sensation.

"My daughter, Louis, used to do that, the first thing she did when she came home from school, was to kick off her shoes and wriggle her toes just like that.", Reba said and then fell into reverie. Hakima stopped wriggling her toes. An awkward silence filled the RV. Alvin's words suddenly made sense and Hakima realised that she was topless and supposed to take a shower, "I.. I'll go take that shower... I think it's best to burn these clothes.", she said in a bid to lift the awkwardness."

Quickly stepping out of her capri-jeans, Hakima slinked into the small shower compartment.

"Use as much soap as you need, Hakima-darling. There's a bottle of tropical shampoo in there too, makes your hair smell like a tropical paradise. I'll go around and ask the rest for some clothes they're willing to part with while I indeed will throw your old clothes on the campfire."

"There's no need to ask around for clothes, I have one last clean set left in my weekender. Just be careful of the bayonet, it is very sharp. The pistol is harmless, I don't have ammo for it anymore."

For a few minutes, Hakima just stood there, enjoying the feeble RV-shower. How precious mundane things become during scarcity.

Reba, mindful of Hakima's warning of the bayonet, carefully opened the weekender. She smiled when she saw that Hakima had her clothes packed seperately into bags she had air-sealed. You never know what happens and packing your clothes in air-tight bags was a smart travel-prep. It was as Hakima had said, only one full change of fresh clothes was left. As Reba took the packed clothes from the weekender, it revealed a paperback-sized photobook.

"Hakima-darling, I don't mean to snoop into your private-life, but do you mind if I look in that photo-book?"

Hakima, who had buried herself under a layer of soap, was puzzled for a second and then she remembered the photo-book Reba was referring too, "Not at all. It's just snapshots of the homies and me being silly and partying, mostly. Stuff Marines do when we're not out saving the day."

It was as Hakima had said. It were mostly pictures of the same group of Marines goofing off, not unlike the old pictures her own husband kept about Vietnam. Near the end of the book, Reba saw a series of photos which showed the aftermath of a drama. The same group of Marines were in those pictures too and in one of the pictures, Hakima shoved her face in the foreground while holding up eight fingers. Reba flipped back a few photos. In none of the pictures of the drama in them that must have unfolded, the Marines seemed to be particularly emotional.

Hakima stepped out of the shower, sighingly burrying her face in a fresh and fluffy towel. She felt like she was staying in a five-star hotel. Finally clean again and paired with the prospect of food, it made her very clear in the head. She had never realised it before, but a shower had a powerful healing function. Looking up from her towel, she saw Reba staring at her photobook, "Are you feeling all right, Reba?"

"Some of those photos reminded me of stories my mother used to tell. Of how soldiers would come and kill everyone. Not just enemy-soldiers."

"I don't know what to say.", Hakima said truthfully, "I lack the wisdom."

"You look like you were enjoying yourself.", it sounded very accusing.

"To be honest, yes, I enjoy what I do. I'm good at it. I have no regrets."

"How can you say that?"

"The photos only show what happened after the dust settled, Reba. I lost a good friend that day, and a lot more Marines died during that campaign. I don't know what you want to hear from me, but I'm not going to apologize for it. Elias was nineteen years old and died screamingly.", Hakima sighed, "Mostly because the group trying to get to him was pinned down. Insurgents were using the villagers as shielding. So, a team of snipers, I was on that team too, just started to remove all targets. The insurgents surrendered quickly. I have no opinion on if it was the right or wrong thing to do, Elias still died. Screaming for his mother.", Hakima looked at the picture in which she was holding up eight fingers, "My kill-count. That smile was for the tempo I had though, I timed faster than the unit's fastest sniper that day. I'm good, but not the best."

Reba slowly closed the photobook and pushed it away from her, "I'll finish preparing your meal and give you room to finish up. But after that, I want you gone from my RV."

Hakima stepped back to make room for Reba. Hakima had nothing to say to it, so she kept silent, but her eyes rested unwaveringly on Reba who was giving her the evil eye.

A while past in awkward silence in which Hakima got dressed and Reba was cooking.

"I'm sorry for my anger. I don't know why I reacted like I did, maybe I was hoping you'd tell a story like 'it was all staged'.., I wasn't prepared for your honesty.", Reba spoke softly. The truth was that Reba was jarred. The elderly woman had a hard time to imagine how a young woman like Hakima, petite to the point of being delicate and not at all hard to look at, could find herself in situations like that and end up enjoying doing what it was she did. Reba's husband Alvin, who had served in Vietnam, had spent his time in Vietnam desperately wishing he was somewhere else. Alvin was by no means a coward as he was awarded the Bronze Star, but his account of war was vastly different from Hakima's.

Reba filled a plate and turned to Hakima.

Hakima had fallen asleep in the middle of fastening the strap of her wristwatch.

**4**

Hakima woke with a shock. Disoriented, as was expecting to wake up all miserable and cold because of morning-dew and sleeping on make-shift bedding of loosened dirt, waking up in the cosy inside of a RV was a world of difference.

"I fell asleep...", Hakima murmered. Somehow, Reba had made Hakima comfortably lay down and had covered her with a plaid without waking her up. Carefully, Hakima tried to get up and about in the limited space of the RV. She became aware of the fist that was clenching her stomach, "..., and I still haven't eaten. Outstanding."

Checking her wristwatch, she learned that it was half past seven in the morning, "Man, I was out for the count...", Hakima heard hushed talking ouside and she peeked through a blind to see who was talking to who. Next to the campfire all the adults were standing around. Williams and his jealous wife Kathryn, Reba and Alvin, Russel and his wife. Hakima figured that would be the Dana Reba had refered to earlier. Hakima watched them a while, "Hmm, they're all talking back to eachother so they have no leader on point. This group is a mess.", Hakima murmered and she concentrated on what they were discussing, it seemed important. It didn't take long to get the gist of it. The group was divided on asking Hakima to stay on. Russel and Alvin seemed to be keen on having a Marine around, Reba and Kathryn were opposing but both for different reasons and Williams kept saying that he was sure Hakima wouldn't be staying long even if they begged her to remain.

"You got that right.", Hakima huffed and silently let go of the blind. She sat down and put on her high-tops. After that she picked up her Clint Eastwood-hat and her weekender and after a last look at the RV-interior, she opened the door and stepped out.

Williams looked in Hakima's direction and set himself in motion towards her. A young girl with auburn cherubic hair was trailing him. 'Oh no' was the first thing that shot through Hakima's mind but a second look at the girl set her ease, it didn't look like the girl was a minor anymore. In some weird way Hakima reasoned that the girl was legally do-able. Hakima planted her hat on her head in such a way she hoped it would hide certain intent if she had to talk to the girl by chance.

"You're awake.", Williams noted.

"And you're a keen observer of the obvious.", Hakima answered and the girl next to Williams whooped, what rewarded her with a stern look from Williams. "Sorry, dad.", the girl excused, "But that was funny."

Hakima noticed that her sniper-rifle was still in the same place where she had left it. She started walking towards it.

"That's my daughter Audrey.", Williams spoke as he came up next to Hakima.

"I didn't ask.", Hakima merely said while she lowered herself a bit to pick up her rifle, a bit annoyed that no one in the camp seemed to have the had the presence of mind to at least remove it from the elements. Not withstanding the fact that the rifle was fabricated with an eye to withstand less then subtle treatment, there was no reason to be neglicent. Hakima straightened and her trained hands quickly checked the rifle before she swung it over her right shoulder, "I'll take a raincheck on the food. I should go, seeing as I wore out my welcome yesterday."

"Don't be silly, you need to eat.", Williams objected. Hakima started to push past him, but Williams blocked her, "I mean it. Yesterday you said that you had seen this before. I need to know what that 'this' is. Please, tell me in exchange for breakfast. Come on, you can do that."

"I'll give you a freebie. What happened was death by stupidity."

"I'm serious, Hakima."

Hakima sighed and made a decision. Maybe it was because Williams had called her by name, she didn't know for sure, "Okay. Do you have a map of the area? And maybe a bowl of cornflakes, hold the sugar?"

"I can help with the cornflakes.", Russel's wife Dana offered, "And I guess Russel probably will have a map, he doesn't trust the GPS." Both Russel and Dana removed themselves and Hakima sighed before putting down her rifle and weekender again. Katryn called audray to her with a voice that didn't allow talk back and the both them walked over to where a young man was standing. The young man had the same cherubic hair as Audrey. Hakima reckoned the young man was Audrey's twinbrother. Reba and Alvin retreated to their RV.

Williams felt a bit awkward and opened his mouth to say something, but Hakima brought up her right hand in a brisk manner, signalling him to shut up. But Williams had enough.

"Okay, want to tell me what your problem is?"

Hakima shrugged, "The less I know you, the less I'll care when you die. I look around this camp and I see dead people. That's all."

"Fair enough.", Williams grunted, "I'm wondering what happened to the vulnerable Hakima I saw yesterday."

"That Hakima got a good night's rest.", Hakima stated matter of factly, "Just wait what happens after I get some food in me."

Dana and Russel returned, followed by their children, two boys about eleven years old. Dana handed Hakima a bowl of cornflakes that were drowned in a watery milky fluid, "I hope you don't mind the 'milk', it's powdered."

Hakima gave Dana a fleeting smile, "That's still better than what the Marines call milk.". Hakima looked at Russel, who was holding a map up with an expectant smile on his face. "What do you want? A kiss?", Hakima spoke curtly, "Spread it out on the ground."

Taken aback, Russel went into a crouch, Hakima following suit, and spread out the map. Then he turned the map around when he noticed it was directionally upside-down.

"Sorry.", he said.

"Don't be.", Hakima said. Nowhere did she sound unfriendly, she sounded professionally calm, ignoring the fact that the people she was talking to weren't Marines. She gave a quick once over of the map and then firmly planted a pointy index-finger on the map, "We're here."

"Just like that?", Russel asked surprised, "I open a map and you just can make that out?"

"Pay attention and learn. I do this for a living and it isn't rocket-science. Hold my breakfast.", she briskly shoved her bowl of cornflakes in Russel's hand and opened a side-pocket on her weekender, coming up with a small 10-inch ruler and a graphite-pen. She moved the ruler around and marked some spots on the map, all the while mumbling calculations.

"Here, uhmmm, three hours walking out, by my ruler. I'm being generous, though.", Hakima said, again placing a pointy index-finger firmly on the map, "Give me my breakfast back."

"What is three hours out?", Williams wanted to know while Hakima started to spoon out soggy cornflakes from the bowl.

"The reason why there are so few walkers here and why you think it is safe to be here. Remember when I told you that your camp sounds like a carnival? It's telegraphing it's location to whatever is gathering in that spot.", Hakima said and directed her attention at her cornflakes again. Between a few spoonfulls she looked at Williams, "You should break camp and go."

"I don't know what game you're playing, but I'm not laughing.", Williams spoke angrily, "Level with me, Hakima. You owe us that much."

Hakima seemed to ponder something then she turned to Russel, "Be a dear and hold on to my breakfast again?"

Russel automatically accepted, while Dana rolled her eyes at him. Hakima turned to Williams and then nobody was really sure what happened. In a matter of a split-second, Williams was laying on his back and Hakima was pushing her right knee in his belly, while raising a fist with the intent to deliver a crunching hook, "I owe you, or anybody here, nothing. Now if you don't want to be thouroughly trashed in front of your kids, I suggest you get your facts straight. Do we have report?"

Williams resigned, "We do."

"Outstanding.", Hakima let go of Williams and rose to her feet. She looked at Russel, who held out her bowl of cornflakes. He seemed a little shell-shocked. Hakima softly shook her head and took the bowl from him. Then she directed her attention at her cornflakes again.

"That's twice you did that to me.", Williams grunted as he too rose to his feet, "Back then, you helped me up."

"A bad decision in retrospect.", Hakima observed, "But I'm a sucker for 70's cops." She giggled and continued eating.

"Without humiliating me for a third time.., what is it what you're not telling me?"

"Does it matter? I see no one of you getting ready to break camp, so I'm wasting my time anyways."

"People won't go just because you say so, Hakima. They're not Marines.", Williams had purposely injected the 'Hakima' in there. Hakima seemed to respond to that better than anything else sofar.

Hakima looked into her bowl and then sighed, "All right, there's a massing of walkers going on out there, they attract eachother in some weird way I don't understand and the lot of them are attracted to loud sounds. So they walk into the direction of whatever it is that's making the sound. The last herd I saw was well over a hundred walkers strong."

"And why do you think they're at the last spot you pointed out on the map?"

"Because it is relatively open, according to the color- and heightlegenda. I don't think the walkers have conscious thought, but instinct matters. If I were to mass together, that's where I would do it."

"So what do you think is out there? I mean, how large a herd?"

"What am I? Madame Sheherazade?"

Williams shook his head. There she went... one wrong word and Hakima was out of his reach again, "Hakima, please. There are children and elderly people here. I think they'll break camp if the need could be confirmed in some way."

Hakima became frustrated, "ALLAH! Study the map, why don't you?"

Williams decided to do just that, but it didn't make much sense to him what Hakima was seeing on that map, compared to what he was seeing. Hakima seemed to sense his confusion and she enlightened him with slow deliberate words as if talking to an intellectually challenged kid, "Check the heightmap."

And Williams understood, "I'll be damned, a natural corridor."

"There you go.", Hakima said, "If I wasn't holding my breakfast, I'd golfclap."

"That still is no guarantee-"

"-All right allready! Fuck this crap. Anyone has a motherfucking electronic camera here? I'll go there, take a few snapshots, return here and show you the motherfucking bitchass walkers plain as day. All right?"

"You can have mine!", Audrey offered quickly, "You can also take videoes with it, if you want."

Hakima checked her wristwatch, "'Ight. It's now ten past the hour... If I'm not back by 0100, I'm walkerlunch and you should pack up regardless, Williams."

"I'll come with, I can't let you go alone."

"You're a buffoon humping the boonies. I'm faster and more silent alone. You just sit here ignoring the danger while I go and gather proof that the danger shouldn't be ignored.", She accepted the camera from Audrey with a smile that made Audrey a bit nervous.

"I-t's really simple to use... Just push the red button here till the light starts blinking, that means it's on. The shutter is here... and when you're done, just hold the red button again to switch the camera off."

"Straight forward enough, thanks, Audrey. Uhm, please take this?", Hakima asked and handed her now empty bowl of cornflakes to the girl. The she turned away from the group and left them behind.

"That girl has problems.", Russel noted, "But all the same... Dana, let's get our stuff together."

"Yeah, yeah, sure.", Dana readily agreed. Before following her husband, she made an "I don't know' gesture at Williams.

Williams shook his head and went over to his family.


	3. Please be 18

**1**

Hakima moved swiftly. Clean and no longer hungry, at least for the moment, she had nothing to distract her. Almost nothing. Williams' daughter, Audrey, kept popping up in Hakima's mind's eye. How quick had Audrey been to loan her camera! And that nervous way in which she had explained how the camara was operated... That little tattoo on the inside of her left wrist... Could it be? Williams didn't strike Hakima as the kind of father who would allow his teenage daughter to get a tattoo, but would grudgingly allow her to get one when he could no longer forbid his daughter to get one. Maybe she got the tattoo as a birthday present for her 18th, Hakima hoped.

Hakima paused for a moment and looked around. Trees. But no sign of walkers, no sounds that hinted at walkers. "They have to be here...", Hakima murmered, "I know I'm right...". Carefully lowering herself to the ground into a sitting position, Hakima took a moment to rest, shedding her rifle and weekender.

"I'm such a schoolgirl..."

It hadn't been all that long ago when Hakima finally faced her biggest demon and emerged victorious from the battle. Ever since she, as a fourteen year old, first discovered what girls ment to her, Hakima carried her feelings with shame. And as she grew older and found out that those feelings went out to early-teenage girls, Hakima turned to extreme acts to excorcise those feelings. That fateful night, in the camp she had murdered the owners of, she had finally come to terms with being gay, but acting on her pedophilia was a barrier she did not dare cross.

Jake Deaon had called Hakima's brain a twisted mass of rotten muck. Hakima feared that if she would allow herself to force a minor to lay with her, or coarce a minor to do so, that Jake had the right of it. Aside from that, Hakima was sure she wouldn't be able to live with herself afterwards.

It wasn't out of piety or morality that Hakima struggled with her feelings for minors. It was because...

...they were kids.

Hakima could not for the life of her phatom how that would be mutual, consentual and equal. It wouldn't be love, it would be lust. A very wrong kind of lust. Hakima reasoned that it would be the most horrific crime she could ever commit.

"I'm not that kind of person!", Hakima had almost yelled it.

"Oh no...", Hakima murmered as she rose to her feet, "I did not just do that..." Carefully, Hakima collected her gear and was on the move again. She didn't know how loud she had been, but if the herd was where she expected them to be, it would be too close for comfort.

**2**

Burt Williams leaned with his left shoulder against the RV and was talking to Alvin, who was sitting in the door-opening of his RV, carefully stuffing the bowl of his pipe with his daily allowed ration of tabacco. Reba didn't like for Alvin to smoke and kept a close eye on his habit. Alvin didn't mind it. Mildmannered and easy going as he was and perfectly content with Reba running his life practically from the second after he first met her, his daily pipe was more of a ritual than a need. That's to say, Alvin needed the ritual, not the tabacco.

"That girl is a wild one, Burt.", Alvin spoke, relishing in the aroma of his pipe, "Has Reba told you about the photobook?"

"Just passingly. Reba thinks that Hakima is a warcriminal, but I don't know. I've never been to war, like you have, or Hakima has. I'm guessing everybody comes out of that differently, but all of them changed forever. And I know what you're thinking, Alvin, but we can't force her to stay."

"You're right. Would be nice to have someone around who can relate though. Your wife won't be too happy if the girl, by chance, would stay on with us."

"Kathryn is like that. That's why I love her, she's the perfect cop-wife.", Burt chuckled, "Just on the chance Hakima is right about that hunch, are Reba and you set to go?"

"Oh, the girl is right, Burt.", Alvin sent a thick, aromatic cloud up, "She might have fallen out of Reba's good graces, but Reba knows her punters. We're good to go, right Reba?"

"When you say, 'the girl is right', is that the Screaming Eagle talking, or Alvin?"

"Bit of both I guess, the boy in me isn't blind and the soldier in me isn't deaf.", Alvin checked his pipe and sighed as he realised that his daily smoke-ritual was almost over, "It's a shame the girl is traumatized such that she won't allow herself to care anymore. She needs medical attention, but I don't think that the Vet-center is still in business."

"That bad, huh?", Burt mused.

"From where I'm standing, the girl is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. We've been lucky, Burt. Reba and I were on our way to Denver to stay with friends and to join in the retiree bridge drive annual there and the worst we've seen were some walkers laying on the road. I can't begin to imagine how escaping from Atlanta must have been for your family."

From within the camper Reba let go of a dismissive huff, "Oh, Alvin, stop sounding like you're sad you're missing the bridge drive.", she laughed pleasantly and then said to Burt, "The old coot is only doing it for me, you know. He hates bridge."

Alvin smiled, "The truth is that I have an eye on this wealthy widow, Darlene Pasquinel. She's spending so much on plastic surgery that I wouldn't mind if she showed off a bit more." Reba laughed heartely, "Oh, you boys!"

"Russel and Dana and the twins were on the road too.", Alvin continued, "Told me about how they were moving states, because Dana got a good job in Atlanta. They haven't seen anything too bad either. Shame their dreams are falling apart, they're good kids."

Burt nodded. Russel and Dana were likable people indeed. Burt was surprised that they had kids at all, the couple were more like buddies than they were lovers. He had asked them about it and Dana had told him how Russel and she had been friends since kindergarten. Marriage to them had more been something of a logical step than a confirmation of love and affection. The thing to do after 21 years of close friendship since the first day of kindergarten.

Burt eyes scanned the camp. It did indeed look prepped to go. He nodded at what he saw. It hand't been smart of them to camp out like nothing would ever happen to them, Burt had realised that and the memory of how he had let his guard down was still fresh on his mind. Hakima's firm belief that the walkers would mass and march on their camp he found hard to take. Burt doubted Hakima's opinion. Not because he was a beat-cop who worked all the angles, but because he couldn't picture it. Hakima's erratic behavior wasn't in her favor too. Burt had seen Hakima at her best and at her worst and if Hakima had been at her best, he would probably not have doubted her as much he did right now. But even then, Hakima at her best was borderline sociopathic to say the least...

Burt's wife, Kathryn was talking to her two sons, George and Andrew. George, at 19, was the youngest. He was a spitting image of Burt, if he could get that hesitating goatee to grow into something respectable the likelyness would be uncanny. Unlike his older brother Andrew, George looked much older than he was, while Andrew, like his twinsister Audrey, appeared to be much younger. Burt smiled. Andrew would frequently fume at the fact that he, at 21, still had to show his ID when he bought beer. The effect on Audrey was even stronger, the young woman, almost done with college, appeared to be not older than 17. Kathryn's genes, no doubt. His wife had looked like a twen until middle-age, but even now she still appeared fresh and youthful. Burt loved his wife to bits, but he could see why she wasn't very much liked. Kathryn looked like someone you would want to meet and get to know.., but her way of treating people made you wish you'd never met her.

Burt had met Kathryn while he was still probational with the Atlanta PD. He catched her jaywalking and armed with the motivation of all rookies, Burt had halted her to explain to Kathryn the dangers of her action. That had been the plan anyway. Instead of lecturing the errant pedastrian, he broke down into a stuttering baboon while Kathryn was staring him down.

Being a young woman and rather unearthly beautiful had been hard on Kathryn. Ever since boys around her grew up to find out girls didn't have cooties afteral till that point in time she was looking at this blabbering rookie-cop, she had been the target of hearts on fire and unwelcome tokens of unasked for affection. Dealing with all that had caused her to become aloof to the point of being a bitching ice-queen, but this rookie-cop, even if she didn't show it at the time, moved her. So, when Burt asked her out on a date instead of giving her a lecture, she said yes. Burt's instructor wasn't amused. Kathryn went home and Burt went on report, but after that the future was pretty much set in stone. They married shortly after that and had the twins quite early following. George, their youngest wasn't planned like the twins, but nonetheless every bit as welcome.

Burt's life, right up until the outbreak, was like a modern fairy-tale. A career that fitted him like a glove, the respect of his peers, a beautiful wife only he could handle, great and smart kids. His daughter Audrey had accepted a scholarship at the Atlanta College of Art while she literally had her pick of very prestigious institutes, only so she could be home as often as possible. Burt saw his daughter standing near the campfire, arms crossed and looking in the direction Hakima had gone. Burt shook his head softly. He knew Audrey wasn't worried about her camera.

"I'm going to talk to my Warhol.", Burt said to Alvin, using his petname for Audrey.

"Sure. She seems to have something on her mind only parents should hear, by the looks of it.", Alvin agreed.

**3**

Burt remembered it as if it had happened yesterday. He had a leisure-day and was leaning comfortably back in the couch, zapping channels on the TV. Kathryn lounging next to him, reading a glossy. Every so often she would roll her eyes at her husband's zapping, but there was no irritation in it. Kathryn enjoyed having Burt home and they talked enough, they had their couple-activities and they had their do-your-own-thing times. By now, Kathryn was an experienced cop-wife. If Burt wanted to sit there and zap channels for a while, she was perfectly okay with letting him be.

The boys were out to some comic-store with the neighbors, who were avid comics-collectors. The Marshalls were a young couple into a lot of off-culture things and they enjoyed taking the boys along to gamestores and comicstores. It bothered Kathryn that they always refused to be compensated for the inevitable fast-food bill, but other than the fact that the couple had weird fashion sense and an interest in childish things, Marc and Josie Marshall were good people. They easily broke through Kathryn's shield when they moved in next door and Josie stopped being Mrs. Marshall pretty quick.

Kathryn expected Audrey to come home from art-class pretty soon. Audrey being as interested in art as she was came as a surprise to her parents. There weren't much artsy genes in both of their families. Their daughter was always busy, drawing, painting, creating her own papercraft, writing stories... Kathryn couldn't supply Audrey fast enough with hobby-materials it seemed. Audrey's latest craze was beads. The result was that Burt now wore a colorful plastic chain around his neck he had sworn never to take off.

"She twisted my arm.", had been his defense, "She made me cross my heart and hope to die."

The frontdoor slammed and hurried footsteps fell... Kathryn braced herself. If Audrey was this excited, Kathryn knew she and Burt were in for at least thirty minutes of art-appreciation.

Audrey, fourteen years old then, almost fifteen, bursted in and blocked the TV-set. She was practically dancing in a mess of waving arms and flailing feet and blurted, "Mum, daddie! I'm going steady with Cassidy and... and... WE KISSED! We're girlfriends!"

Audrey danced out of the room and as Burt and Kathryn look at eachother they heard Audrey dancing around her bedroom.

Life with Audrey would never be the same again.

Burt still wore the plastic chain, even though Audrey had to repair it a few times over the years since. He touched the chain as he walked over to his daughter. Audrey's puppylove for Cassidy had proven not to be a thing she would grow out of. The relationship hadn't lasted long, but Audrey wasn't confused (as Kathryn had hoped). Audrey joyously accepted her homosexuality and had several girlfriends after Cassidy and was sexually active since her sixteenth, which was the only thing that had disappointed Burt in his daughter. Audrey shared herself too easily in his opinion, but he was beaten with logic, "Look at it this way, daddie, I can't come home pregnant."

Burt took up a spot next to Audrey and ruffled her cherubic curls, "A penny for your thoughts, Warhol."

"She's gay.", Audrey stated matter of factly.

"Yes, she is. She also quite recently lost her girlfriend.", Burt said with a warning tone in his voice.

"I know, daddie, I was there when you told the world, remember? But it's off somehow, with her. I think she only recently came to terms with being gay or something."

Burt sighed. When it came to seeing women for what they were, Audrey outclassed her father every step of the way, "Look Warhol, this is your father speaking, not your daddie..."

Audrey interupted her father by softly poking him with her elbow, "Let me handle it, 'father-not-daddie', there's something between her and me, I know it. I'm so stupid 'You can have my camera'. Argh, what was I thinking?"

"Before I shut up about it...Look me in the eye, Audrey."

When Burt called Audrey Audrey, Audrey knew she was in hostile territory. She turned her green eyes at Burt.

"Is it because she's gay and you have to act on that, or are you serious with this?", Burt asked while looking deep into his daughter's eyes.

"She's mysterious and a total babe, daddie. I'm surrounded by family and, well, maybe you can call them friends, but I'm alone too. She's in my age range, daddie, and she has no one too. With everything that's happening, if I let this pass, will I ever meet someone again? Someone to love? Someone to be, despite all of this, to be happy with? When I close my eyes, I see that smile she gave me when I explained my camera to her and I could just die. She's not Kate, or the others that I called girlfriends... I think she's the one."

Burt was satisfied that Audrey wasn't pinning some story on him. Burt's opinion of her meant the world to Audrey and the look in her eyes were good enough for Burt, "Your mother will not approve, Warhol."

"Total babe, daddy, total babe.", Audrey said as she leaned in with her back against her father and sighed.

Burt chuckled at his daughter, "Totally worth it."

"Yah. Totally."


	4. The girls are alright

**1**

The herd Hakima was searching for was indeed not too far away from where she had her outburst. None of the walkers in the herd had picked up on it however and none of the walkers had noticed her standing next a big tree.

Audrey was prominently on Hakima's mind. But Hakima was also doing a headcount of the herd. She couldn't classify her feelings for the girl. Audrey looked so young, but she handled herself as if she was older.

"That's one hundred...", murmured Hakima. What if she was wrong about Audrey and ended up with a foot in her mouth, exposing herself for what she hated herself to be, a dispiccable pervert?

"Two hundred... ", Hakima produced Audrey's camera from her weekender. And what if it all was good and something were to happen to Audrey? Emily's death had left quite a deep emotional scar on Hakima, even though she would not readily admit to it. On the one hand Hakima realised that her idea to confess her love to Emily during her mental break-down would've been the biggest mistake of her life and on the other hand she realised that her love for Emily probably wasn't even real, just something she had construed. A lie she told herself to keep on going in the weeks she had spent alone wandering the Georgia woods. Her grieving over Emily had nonetheless been very real.

Hakima took a few panoramics of the herd and checked the pictures in the small viewscreen on the camera. This should be compelling evidence enough for those people to break camp and go. As far as Hakima had been able to see, only Burt had a weapon and no one other had even dared touching Hakima's sniper-rifle as it lay near the fire for a forthnight. Did they even have any weapon to defend themselves? If they had, Hakima hadn't seen it.

Hakima stuck the camera back in her weekender and checked her wristwatch. Three hours to 1PM, she couldn't linger any longer. She turned away from the herd and started back to the campsite.

The herd wasn't going in the camp's direction. Though Hakima had spot-on found them in the place she had figured the herd would be, the herd was ignoring the obvious natural path towards the campsite. The herd would be meandering past towards a destination unknown from a distance well enough away for the camp to risk staying. If the campers would adhere to strict soundrules and keep ardent watch out, next to being ready to be on the move in thirty seconds flat, they would be relatively safe.

"Why am I even thinking about this?", Hakima scolded herself, "They're sheep to the slaughter and I shouldn't even be here. But no.., I see a pretty face and whoopla... I'm scouting and worrying about the safety of total strangers. I suck."

Hakima wasn't even sure if that was the truth. It was nice to be with people, even if they were total dipsticks. It was nice to talk, to hear your voice as you spoke to someone, instead of hearing it in your head only. Hakima hated to admit it, but the interaction with all those people around the map this morning.., it had as much a healing function on her as the shower the day before had. She was constantly getting ready to leave, but also constantly looking for reasons to stay.

"They'll die and I'll be alone again...", Hakima murmured as he walked on, "I can't handle that a second time..."

In the end, Jake Deacon had succeeded. Hakima blamed herself for the death of his group. Whatever would happen to the people in the camp, Hakima felt she had to set that record straight. The how of it eluded her however.

**2**

Burt squeezed his daughter's shoulder and gave her one last stern look before he left her with her own thoughts. Audrey may be 21, she was still his daughter. Burt had told her once that no matter how old she would get, he would never stop raising her. It weren't the words Audrey wanted to hear exactly, but the man she still called daddie was very important to her. Burt knew that most of the raising he was doing now was taken for granted, but he also knew about the role he played in his daughter's life. From having deep and lengthy discussions about politics, sometimes heated as Burt was a Republican while his daughter was a Democrat, to being goaded along to check out 'hot babes'.

Burt knew he unfairly divided his time between his children, Especially George struggled with that fact. George had applied for the police-academy and was admitted. Burt doubted if George actually wanted to be a police-officer. He had asked George straight up about it but had not gotten an answer that truly satisfied him. George only took after his father physically, he was a closed and brooding personality otherwise. Slighty hard to talk to, harder to get to know.

Audrey's twinbrother Andrew was the one who truly struggled with Audrey's shadow. He was silent and prone to violent outburts and was no stranger to detention, both in school and at home. Andrew could've gone to college like Audrey but instead applied for a job as mechanic-in-training at a trucking company. Andrew and Audrey never had an unexplainable twin-siblings relationship, their relationship was rather cold, especially after Andrew twice in a row lost a girlfriend to his sister. From Andrew, Burt had gotten a more direct answer; he was tired of the childhood-long competition with his twin. He was not artsy, bubbly, or gay. College would've been just another competition. Andrew was a talented mechanic, to his own surprise, and doing something that no one could relate to his sister, he came into his own. Not too long ago Audrey and Andrew came to see eye to eye, though Burt regretted that both his sons had forfeited college. All three of his kids had seen school as a game.., they could've gone so far.

As Burt moved over to Kathryn and Dana who were joined by Reba and seemed to discuss something typically woman, Burt shook his head over his worrying about his kids. It didn't matter anymore. George would never be a police-officer, Andrew would never become chief mechanic at the trucking company and Audrey would never become a famous artist. He was reminded of what Hakima had told him back in Atlanta: 'There are only alive people'. Somehow, the plucky Marine had a sharp perspective on the world.

As he came near the group of women, they fell silent. Burt smiled. Yep, it was woman-stuff they had been discussing. Kathryn would've included him in the discussion otherwise.

"I don't like the look on Audrey's face, Burt. What was it about?"

"Warhol has a thing for Hakima and she feels its mutual. I had her look into my eyes and explain it, Kathryn. I trust in her take on it, her gaydar is quite robust."

Dana laughed, "I wish we had straidar. It's too hard to get into relationships for straight people, but two gays meet and they hit it off. I'm jealous about that."

Kathryn ignored Dana and didn't miss a beat with Burt, "Burt, that look me in the eye thing is silly. That woman just took off with Audrey's camera, which was a very expensive birthday-present, remember?"

"I handled it wrong this morning. Thinking about it, being too cautious is dangerous too."

"I think you did it right, Burt.", Reba chimed in, "Hakima was making everybody nervous with her talk about large groups of walkers looking to attack us. It's too far fetched and you were right to question it like you did."

Russel, carrying his sons like sacks of potatoes, one under each arm, had been listening in while he entertained them, "Hakima is the shit. A flake by all counts, but when it comes to her job, she has it locked down. Marines take professional pride very serious."

"What do you know.", Dana teased, "What you know of the Marines is all from National Geographic's Ghost-warrior documentaries."

"True. I never thought I would actually meet a ghost-warrior. If the world was still normal, I would ask her all kinds of questions and even for her signature."

"She would sooner toss you around, like she did with Burt.", Dana laughed.

"Ouch.", Burt grunted, "Don't remind me."

Andrew, who had joined the group and had been listening with some interest added, "She just surprised dad. I don't think she can do it in a straight up fight."

Burt took the opportunity of Andrew's cutting in to steer the discussion towards the readiness of the camp, "Ah, Andrew, just the man I was looking for. I've an idea I wanted to run by you."

Andrew looked to be pleasantly surprised, "Yeah, dad, sure. What is it?"

"Our cars are important, Andrew. I want to ask you if you're willing to keep an eye on their technical state. Maybe do daily checks on the engines-"

Andrew interupted his father enthousiastically, "-Dad, that's a great idea. I'm bored out of my skull sitting around doing nothing and now that you're bringing it up... I'm kinda pissed that I didn't think of it myself."

"Wait up, Andrew.", Russel said cheerfully, "I'm a toolie myself, I'll help you with it. Let me get my tools.", Russel handed his sons over to Dana and hurried to the family's station-wagon to get his tools.

Dana chuckled, "Okay, I just lost my buddy to his secret lover. The car."

"Well, that was easier than I expected it would go... Let's see if I can use the psychology-trick on George too and play in to his police-mind. We have been gambling with our lives and I think it's wise we start a watch-schedule. This will involve us all and I think George is the perfect candidate to organize it.", Burt said, strengthened by his success with Andrew.

"Oh nice.", Dana balked, "I'm so looking forward to stand watch in the middle of the night. Not."

"My husband is right, Dana. We have been treating this like a vacation."

Dana blinked at Kathryn. Burt was suddenly 'my husband' and 'right'. That was a curveball for Dana who until then had found a willing ear in Kathryn for her complaining. Burt decided it was the perfect time to go looking for George.

George too was happy to get involved. Burt was bit thrown off, he had to admit. Maybe it was because he had taken it to his sons and asked them straight up for their help, maybe it was because he came to them instead of going to Audrey first... He didn't know for sure.

"I'm trusting you with the schedule, George. I know you can do it."

"Believe it.", George said firmly, "Uhm, we need a kidwatch... Dana and Russel are too free with the twins..."

"George, you're in charge of the safety. If you run into problems come to me, but as long as you're fair and sensible, the group will take their cues from you. I'll leave you to it."

"I do have a problem, dad. Shall I take Hakima into account with the schedule?"

"I honestly don't know, George. Your sister is on the case, but this time she might be wrong.", Burt scratched his head, "Hakima is suffering from past experiences, even if she stays, you'll need to be mindful of that."

"And I can't put the Irvings on night-watch already...", George mused, referring to Reba and Alvin, "I'll figure it out, dad."

"I know you will.", Burt said and patted George on the shoulder. He returned to the women and took a seat on the ground, close to where Dana's twins were playing.

"'Sup, Burt?", Dana asked, "Kathryn is with Audrey, if you're looking for her."

"I'm not looking for Kathryn, but George had a good idea. We need a kidwatch and I'm volunteering first shift.", Burt spoke friendly.

"I can look after my kids, Burt."

"Never said you can't, but two set of eyes see more than one set."

Dana looked at George who was concentrating on a notepad, "I haven't thought of it like that... A kidwatch... That's good thinking..."

**3**

Audrey turned her head to her mother, "I know what you're going to say mum, and I can mouth along word for word.", Audrey's voice sounded appreciative in contradiction to her words, "First daddie, now you. You guys are worried, I get it. I'm worried too."

Kathryn studied her daughter and, totally against her plan, she smiled, "Oh, you're good. I can't even you tell you that I don't like your tone of voice."

"What's wrong with my brothers? Andrew is suddenly active and George is behaving like he is in charge."

"Your father had a stroke of genius. And, totally like him, he 'forgot' to give you a chore."

Audrey laughed, "Seriously mum, daddie will just commision a portrait of himself. It's a good thing he 'forgot' to give me a chore."

Mother and daughter stood there for a while.

"So, how long are you planning to stand here being a forlorne abandoned wife?"

"I'm that obvious?"

"I know you like you're my daughter...", Kathryn started, which made Audrey smile, ".., and this isn't the right time to bring it up, I know... Remember that day that you came home and told us you and Cassidy were going steady?"

"Yeah, mum, this isn't the right time, but I feel that for what you have on your mind, there isn't a right time under any circumstance. I remember, that day I told you guys that I'm gay."

"You dropped a bomb on us, more like. I was devastated and sure you were sick. I couldn't accept it then, and I can't accept it now. If your father hadn't talked me out of it, I would've had you excamined. Institutionalized"

"Mum..."

Kathryn rose a hand to shut her daughter up, "Your father was okay with it from the start. He said he had always known, that he had seen it in the little things you did for as long as you were growing up to that day. He helped me come to terms and I'm an expert at having a gay-child now, but there's no book that helps accepting it. You went, 'hey, I'm gay!', your father went 'Cool, now I can talk about girls with my daughter' and I was left angry. Andrew and George.., you took up most of our attention already and then you had to demand more. It took a lot out of us, Audrey. It wasn't fair on us, it wasn't fair on your brothers and whatever it is you're planning on doing, it won't be fair on that woman."

"Mum, please use her name. 'That woman' is not her name."

"Don't change the subject, Audrey. I have never stopped reading about homosexuality and I'm very much capable of recognizing a gay person. That woman went through a lot accepting it herself and God knows the horrors she has seen recently on top of that. That woman is vulnerable and I feel like you're taking your chance to swoop in and sink your claws into her. You've never approached a relationship seriously. What you're thinking about doing is low and I'd like to think I raised you better than that." Kathryn took her daughter by the upper-arm and briskly pulled her in close. Lowering her voice Kathryn continued, "If you're going through with this, I can't stop you. You're 21. But if I get so much as an inkling that you're toying with that woman, I'm going to find the thickest piece of wood there is and beat you within an inch of your life with it. Do we understand eachother?"

Audrey was genuinely shocked. Kathryn had never threatened her children with beatings before. She believed in dialogue and reasoning, seeing slapping a kid as failing at parenting. At a loss for words, Audrey looked at her mother. Kathryn wasn't joking, but looking her daughter sternly in the eye.

"Mum, have you even considered that Hakima might reject it?", Audrey asked after mustering her courage.

"Yes, I did. I've also seen the way that woman looked at you and that smile she gave you isn't hard to miss. And the way she was pretending not to see you at first was actually endearing. And since you obviously didn't understand my message, I'm going to tell you again. That woman is traumatized and she won't need you to make it even worse."

Audrey stepped away from her mother. In 21 years, Kathryn had never done anything like this.

"I'm not planning on hurting Hakima, mum. I'm sure you won't understand, but the moment I saw her, I was in love with her."

"Oh, I understand. When your father and I met, it was love at first sight. But we didn't had a reputation for treating relationships casually. And that's the last I'm saying about this. I'm going to see if Reba needs help with something."

**4**

Hakima's mind was made up. She would return to the camp, hand over the camera to Williams and move on. She refused herself to even think about Audrey. It actually worked. Thinking about other things then trying to teach strangers that they're never, ever safe and denying herself to be 'a total schoolgirl' perked her up. It was time to move on. Maybe find a town where she could stay for a bit, where she could scavenge and hunt and keep her military skills trained and honed. As she walked on, that idea became ever more appealing. Just her and the walkers, and it would be perfect.

"Maybe even find some books to read,", Hakima murmured, "Before I forget how to read again."

"You're alive! I mean, you're back!", a happy voice spoke shaking Hakima out of her thoughts. Somehow, she had returned to the camp without noticing it. But Hakima was so sure she had been alert and attentive...

"I'm...back?", there was genuine confusion in her voice. Hakima shook her head, "I need a vacation..." Hakima wanted to push past Audrey to give the camera to Williams, but Audrey quickly blocked her.

"Wait... Hakima, I... I need to know, I noticed how you look at me and I know what happened, kinda, before you met us... but, you know, is there something going on between us?", Audrey asked with a voice that lost confidence as she went on. It wasn't even how she had planned on asking it. Hakima blinked and was obviously confused.

"I need to show the pictures...", Hakima said by way of a reply and she left Audrey just standing there.

Burt, who had been watching the duo wasn't quite sure how Audrey's busting a move had gone down. It had looked like one of those awkward 'I need to think about this' moments, the kind of moment Hallmark doesn't have cards for.

Hakima closed in on Burt and he saw her face turn dark as she went. From a little distance, Hakima started talking, "So, sacrificing Emily again, Jake? Are you that pathetic, Jake? Do you think that I'll stay on, you stupid fuck? We need Hakima... well if that's what it takes, I'll give her my Emily as a sexslave. Why the fuck not, right, Jake?"

Burt was taken by surprise. Again that Jake-fellow. What kind of horror had happened?

Hakima pulled her pistol so fast that Burt was only left looking at the pistol aimed right to his forehead, "Tell me, Jake. Tell me I'm wrong, because Allah be witness, I'll kill you for good this time."

"Woah! Easy now... Hakima, hey, look at me, that's it... Hakima, I'm Burt. Remember me? The 70's cop? Let's all calm down here and think this fucker through."

"You're... you're not Jake..?", Hakima lowered her pistol, "You're not Jake..."

"Yeah, that's good, we're making progress. Okay, okay... I want you to take it easy and to take your time... remember the camera? Did you find that herd?"

"I...", Hakima passed out when memories and reality became so entangled she couldn't make sense of it anymore. It just went dark around her.

Burt was on a knee in an instant and gently rolled Hakima on a flank after he took her pistol. He briefly closed his eyes when he saw that the safety had been off. He decided not to linger on how close he had gotten. The only reason Burt could think of why Hakima kept confusing him with this Jake was because he had a daughter. And things were happening parallel to what had happened to Hakima in the past.

"Poor thing.", said Burt as he got a little understanding of Hakima's mental state.

"Wow dad.", George said with awe, "They told us in the Academy about how you were able to talk anyone down from commiting murder and how you're going about that. To see you do it... Just... wow."

"George, are you forgetting your training? Get something to support the girl's head."

"Right away.", George acknowledged. He couldn't help but being proud that his father was talking to him as if he was a graduated police-officer. As if they were walking the beat together. George used Hakima's weekender as a headrest.

"Can she breathe freely, dad?"

"Yep and pulse is stable. She just passed out when it became too much to take in."

George moved around his father and zipped Hakima's pants open.

"What are you doing, sicko?", asked Audrey distressed.

"Just giving the victim room to breathe. Belly-breathing is common when people fall unconscious.", George answered in a calm and firm manner. Burt lightly smiled, as George was using his 'police-voice'. George turned to Reba, "The victim needs to be kept warm, she might fall into shock."

"Yes, of course. I'll get the plaid.", Reba agreed.

"And then what, super-cop.", huffed Audrey, "We just leave her there on the ground?"

"Yes, that's the best thing to do in this situation. We keep the victim warm and monitor her condition until she comes to naturally. She's moved into a position where she can breathe freely and no one ever died from that. What we need to guard for is shock.", George accepted the plaid from Reba and covered Hakima with a firm hand.

"Hey, hey, hey!", Audrey stressed, "Take it easy!"

"I am taking it easy. Now step back and give the victim some space."

"You have it under control, partner.", Burt said appreciatively, "I'll work crowd-control."

George just nodded as he timed Hakima's pulse and Burt took Audrey over to the campfire, "George knows what he's doing. They told me he is a natural cop. And you need to put your mind on something else. I want you to go over to Dana and help her watching the twins. No buts, no talking back, can you do that for me?"

Audrey didn't talk back and went to do as she was told. As Burt let go of a deep sigh, Alvin came over to him. Kathryn was also coming over.

"Before Kathryn is here.., I saw you switching the safety on that pistol. Close call, huh?"

"Too close. Makes you wonder about how much horror we have been spared sofar.", Jake mused, "And fear for what horror lies in store for us."

Alvin nodded and as Kathryn joined he spoke, "I'll leave you two alone. I think I'll be able to talk some extra tabacco out of Reba to soothe my nerves." As Alvin went to mooch some tabacco, Kathryn looked her husband over, "That woman would've killed you!"

"No, she wants to kill someone else she already did kill. And stop fussing, Kathryn."

"Are you going to ask that woman about her past?"

"No. If she wants to talk about it, fine. But I'm not going to force her. Talking will surely help, but I'm a cop. Not a schrink. Walk with me, we need to see what's on that camera."

**5**

The content on the camera chilled Burt to the bone. The panoramics showed a veritable sea of walkers. Burt guessed that Hakima had gotten very close to the herd to take the snapshots.

"I would not have been able to do this.", Burt said to no one in particular.

"Scout sniper, man.", Russel said, who had been looking along over Burt's shoulder, "I bet that if you had asked for a close-up of a walker's left nut, she would've gone and gotten it. Just like that."

Burt chuckled, then sober, "It bothers me that I forced her to do it. She mentioned professional pride too, before you brought it up, when we were returning to the camp. I understand it, I take pride in my job too, but this seems to go above and beyond. We can't ask for this kind of professional pride, we don't have the right. We just don't."

Russel patted Burt on the back, "Hey man, she was acting crazy and all... I wasn't going to believe her too, but now that I see these snapshots... I wish we hadn't doubted her. You can't unsee this stuff, you know."

Dana leaned on Russel to see on the camera too, but her comment was not on the contents, "We can't let her go her own way, guys. We can't help her because we're not able to, but we should at least offer her a place to heal. To get her strength back before she splits."

"Please stay down, you took a spill.", Burt heard George say and he gave the camera to Russel. George was trying to keep Hakima down, which wasn't hard at all. Hakima was totally out of it, but otherwise alert. She acknowledged George and relaxed again.

"Well done, George.", Burt complimented and George smiled appreciatively. Burt lowered himself into a crouch next to his son and gently placed his right hand on Hakima's shoulder.

"Can I get you anything, Hakima?"

"A place where I can be ashamed with some privacy.", Hakima spoke sourly when she had cleared up enough. Burt chuckled at and gently shook her, "I should be the one who is ashamed. Those are some chilling snapshots you took."

"They're not coming this way, I misjudged the natural corridor. I thought it would funnel the herd straight through the camp. They'll pass by though, but if you enforce strict rules, that should be all they do. No shouting, no yelling kids, light discipline and you should be okay. Okay, I'm going to see if my legs still wo-", Hakima stopped talking when she noticed that her capris were zipped down.

"I loosened your pants to have you breathe easier. No other intent.", George explained before Burt could say anything. Hakima sighed, "There's no end to embarrassment..."

"My son did the right thing, Hakima."

"I know he did, I'm just embarrassed.", Hakima said, extremely self-aware as she zipped up with a couple of onlookers, "You're not my friends, you know."

Burt asked the rest to be left alone with Hakima and when they were reasonably out of earshot, he coughed, "With no strings attached, we as a group would like you to stay. It takes no genius that you've been through a lot and you need to heal up.", Burt placed an index-finger on Hakima's forehead, "There."

"Audrey...is she for real? I mean, old enough? You know. And not cued by you?"

Burt laughed, "Yes, she is for real and she's 21 and the last time she listened to me for relationship-advise I was reading night-time stories to her. Beauty and the Beast, of all fables."

"I thought she was a minor... I'm so scared of that.", Hakima's voice trailed off.

"Hey, listen. Audrey thinks you and her have something. I'm no cupido, but everyone here saw your reaction to her and everyone saw her reacting to you. My wife and I have been talking to her about this and she's genuine with her feelings to us. So, how about this.., take a vacation with us. You've done a lot for us, it's the least we can do in return. Just put your feet up and get better, and if may say so... if you have a shot at love in this world, shouldn't you at least give it a chance?"

"Idunno, I would feel obligated to help..."

"If you really want to help, offer your guidance to George, or tell Russel about how awesome scout snipers are. Besides, I think that George would be very interested to learn about light-discipline. I saw him take a mental note when you brought that up."

"Will you be asking about what happened..? I'm not sure if I..", Hakima lost the fight against her tears and Burt pulled her into an embrace, "Hey now. It's alright. No, I won't be asking you anything, but I'll be willing to listen if you want to talk. Still, I would say you unload at Alvin, he was saying a while back how he would welcome someone who could relate. He appears to be on Reba's strings, but if you know them longer you'll see it's a pretty even relationship they're having. And Alvin is a very smart and patient man who has seen and lived through things I can't even begin to imagine."

Burt stood there a while with Hakima in his arms, who was slowly calming down. He spotted Audrey, who was watching them from a little distance and beckoned her over with a short move of his head.

"Why don't you two take it from here?", he said, looking at Audrey as he handed Hakima over into his daughter's arms. Audrey gave her father a 'help me' look, but Burt shook his head and walked away. Audrey had said that she thought that Hakima was the one for her, well, that meant to him that she was ready for a serious relationship. And ready for discovering that serious relationships go beyond "Hello, I love you, let's have sex." He figured that for Audrey, the deep end as a place to start wouldn't do her harm.

His mind so pre-occupied, he almost bumped into Kathryn.

"As usual, Audrey sticks out her hand, and the presents starts raining down."

Burt smiled, "This presents will require her full dedication. We had a love on first sight, but it wasn't easy to keep together. It won't hurt Audrey to learn that lesson.", Burt pushed past his wife, looking for George. The young man was again studying his notepad, "George, let's do a patrol of the camp together and see if we can make a map of our direct surroundings."

George agreed readily and together they left the camp.


	5. The rudeness of it

**1**

Hakima awoke in a panic. Nothing around her was familiar and even less made sense. Although Hakima frequently awoke disoriented for a few seconds if she fell into a deep sleep prior, this one had been the ultimate pwnage. Just one pool of nothingness from which she awoke with a start, finding herself in a flimsy hitch-hiker's tent. It awoke someone else because of it and that freaked Hakima out a bit more.

"Hey, you.", spoke the person with a croggy voice, "Calm down a little, I'm not enjoying your knee in my side. Come on, lay down. Scaredy cat."

Audrey! Hakima briskly shook her head. Yesterday had been a mess and most of it had been a blur to Hakima. It was fragmented as hell. She remembered telling Audrey that she loved the girl too and that the girl had been on her mind since they had first met. That wasn't a total lie, Hakima had mostly been wondering if Audrey was legal. The time after that was blurry too. Hakima had been sitting near the campfire trying to get her ruthers straightened out. Fragments of conversations that stuck in her head and some perceived hostility from Kathryn all the while being so out of it.

Audrey brought up her right hand and gently touched Hakima's face, "Come on, Haki. In my arms like yesterday?" Hakima noticed that the girl was topless. It didn't rattle her that the girl was topless, Hakima herself was anti-bra, but she couldn't remember if they had celebrated their new found love already.

"Did we..."

"Nah, we cuddled and then I watched you sleep. Do you know you murmur and suckle your thumb?"

Hakima lay down again and let herself be pulled close by Audrey, "Yes, there are an insane amount of snapshots of that going around from Marine to Marine...usually one of them comes up with the 'Whisper sucks' joke."

"Whisper?"

"Yeah, my petname the homies call me by. It used to be my callsign too. Because of the murmuring, I talk to myself from time to time."

"I like that petname, it's so you.", Audrey chuckled, "Poor Russel, he's a total ghost-warrior fan and you hardly answered his questions."

"Hmm-mmm", was all Hakima had to say to it. She was enjoying Audrey's presence, resting her head on the girl's left shoulder while absent mindedly rubbing her belly with a light touch.

"Okay, Russel is a bad topic, I see. Right. Uhm... How is your stance on being silent?"

"Undecided.", Hakima replied, "Is this really what you want? Me, I mean?"

Audrey tensed a little, "Please, don't be so insecure, for my sake? You're a total babe, hell yeah, I want you. Bad enough to risk mum's wrath if I do you wrong."

"It's not what I mean. I'm down and out right now, I know it. This is schoolgirl me."

Audrey laughed, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to laugh. Reba told everyone about the pictures, she thinks that you're a warcriminal."

"Pictures always tell half the story, that's why they are pictures."

"Woah, it's too early for philosophy, Haki. Are you trying to scare me off with your dark past? Or are you looking for a reason to walk away before we really grow attached to eachother?"

"You're an artist. I'm a Marine and I really enjoy what I do. I can tell you about it, but you won't really understand it. I'll have to show you."

"Why do you think that you enjoying your job would make me feel different about you? I mean, it's a relatively harmless thing to do."

"I enjoy the killing. It was an eye-opener for me to find out that I'm extremely good at it."

"Haki..."

"I'm serious, Audrey. With all these walkers about, my talent is very useful. You love me..."

"I do.", Audrey said, "Though I have some problems with the leap in logic here."

Hakima shifted around a bit to get more comfortable in Audrey's arms. Audrey took the chance to steal a kiss. They lay still for a while enjoying eachother's bodywarmth.

"You'll have to see for yourself what I'm trying to say. You need to see why the Stars&Stripes called me the Angel of Death. I need closure on what happened. Do you have a car? It all ended not too far away from here.., about a day's out."

"The Scion outside is mine. Got it on a bad loan, but I heard there's a lot of aftermarket parts for it and was thinking I could use that to get closer with Andrew. When all this came down, the first thing I realised that made me happy was that I didn't had to worry about paying the monthly dues anymore."

"Hmm-mmm.", Hakima answered, "How were you going to pay for the aftermarket parts?"

"I...", Audrey sighed when she realised what Hakima was really asking, "Fuck."

"Now you're getting to the heart of it.", Hakima said with faltering voice. The warmth of being under a thick sleeping-bag while being saturated with Audrey's body-heat made her drowsy, "You won me over but you have no clue of what I'm capable of and even less off a clue on how to go from here..."

Audrey tried to steer their conversation into a lighter tone, "Are you saying you're a bad loan?", she asked with a laugh. Hakima answered with soft snoring. "Wonderful.", Audrey said while she tried to move her head so that she could kiss Hakima, "Sex with you is going to be an adventure, I can tell."

**2**

Audrey was talking with her parents, while Hakima was packing some food into Audrey's Scion. Burt and Kathryn weren't looking too happy with the roadtrip the they were planning, Hakima estimated.

"I'm not looking for you guys to forbid me going.", Audrey argued, "I'm old enough to look after myself. Haki is trying to make me understand what I'm getting into and she needs closure. We'll be gone for two days."

Burt looked past his daughter at Hakima, who was kicking the tires of the Scion, "Talk with your mother, Warhol.", Burt said. He left Kathryn and Audrey to link up with Hakima. Hakima looked up from her tire-kicking. Her hair was held out of her face with the help of a cheap pink plastic barret that had three flimsy ladybugs glued on. Kurt realised that this was the first time he saw Hakima's face without it being covered with a wall of sleek hair. Hakima's appearance was unsettling. She reminded Burt of Kathryn when her first saw her, of unearthly, almost angelic beauty. He forgot what he wanted to say and just stood there looking at Hakima.

After a while Hakima shrugged and asked, "What?"

Burt collected himself and pointed at the barret, "Audrey?"

Hakima stiffled a laugh, "Yeah.., the schoolgirl in me can't say no."

Burt smiled, "She's right, it's not fair to hide a face like that. Not much beauty to go around anymore."

With one decisive move, Hakima janked the barret out of her hair and took a step away from Burt, while turning her face away from him.

"Hey, hey. It was just a compliment.", Burt sighed, "Not all men are animals, okay? Can we agree on that? I just want to talk to you. If this thing between you and Audrey grows into something good, I'll be gaining a daughter. I want to get to know you better, but I can't do that if you behave like a minefield. Hey, look at me. Hakima. Please."

"The herd will pass the camp. Be sure that George won't hesitate and orders evacuation if it even hints at walkers coming close. Any attempt to fight stragglers will alert the herd to the camp."

"Okay.", Burt sighed, "I'll tell George. If that happens, we need a place where we can meet up."

"Don't worry, I'll find you.", Hakima said, "You guys will be like a traveling open-air festival.", she looked at Audrey, who was walking towards them. Hakima got in the passenger-seat of the Scion without paying further attention to Burt. Audrey lowered herself and picked the cheap barret Hakima had discarded up, "Foot in your mouth, huh daddie?", she said without malice, "It will be hard to make her wear the barret again..."

Burt shook his head, "I'm surprised you even succeeded at getting her to try it at all. Bad things have happened to her and I think that you should try to prepare yourself for what she's wanting to show you.", He took Audrey's face with both hands and kissed her on the forehead, "Just be safe."

**3**

They drove for hours through the deserted rural Georgia landscape. Hakima just sat there, hands in her lap and her head hung low. With her lips slightly apart, Hakima seemed to concentrate on breathing. Audrey checked on the woman riding next to her as they rode on and became agitated with Hakima's inactivity after a while.

"Look, I know the world went to shit and maybe I shouldn't enjoy this early autumn-day, maybe I shouldn't be enjoying driving around in my brand new car and maybe I shouldn't have selected the B52's as travel-music, but please, can you at least behave like you want to be here?"

"I like Rock-lobster.", Hakima answered, referring to the B52 song the cd-player was processing. She showed no signs of perking up otherwise, "I'm just doing breathing-excersises. I've been ignoring my skills for too long."

"Okay, like daddie, foot in my mouth.", Audrey grunted, "You can tell I'm related."

Hakima giggled, "We're close now, look for a dirt road to the left of you."

Audrey slowed the car down a bit to not miss the dirt road and spotted the road almost instantly. Braking more heavily and easing off, she steered the car onto the dirt road, "That's uncanny, you're not even paying attention to what's going on."

Hakima turned to face Audrey, "It looks that way, doesn't it? By the trees, turn the car to face back to the main road again. We walk the last part from there."

"You're expecting trouble?"

"I'm expecting walkers. People are trouble, walkers are a nuisance. Besides, I have a deal with the walkers. They don't kill me, I don't kill them. Apart from a few misunderstandings, it's working out."

Audrey chuckled, "A deal huh?"

"What's so funny?"

"Never mind.", Audrey deflected while she turned her car around. Not sooner had she stopped, Hakima was getting out of the car and, to Audrey's eyes, stretched sensually. Hakima could, at the weirdest of moments, display outragious girlishness and the stretching was one such display. As Audrey got out of the car she flirted, "You know, you're totally naked under those clothes."

"Seriously?", Hakima mocked. She ducked back in the car and got out holding her weekender. Stepping away from the car, she produced her bayonet from the weekender, "Come on.", she said to Audrey, "Naked, huh?"

Audrey joined Hakima, "The way you were stretching back there? Floor-show in a lesbo-bar. Shouldn't we close the cardoors, or lock the car at least?"

"Walkers don't steal cars and the last people here died five days ago.", Hakima upped her tempo a bit, "There, between the trees is the camp."

"Hey, wait up, wai-", Audrey fell silent as she came onto the camp. She had mentally prepared herself for... well, for something horrific. Her imagination hadn't been flexible enough to prepare her for the death and destruction that had taken place in the camp. The corpses strewn around, the overpowering stench of decay that assaulted her senses...Audrey fell to her knees and evacuated her stomach. Hakima was looking at a walker that was bound tightly to a tree.

"W-what happened here?", Audrey asked weakly.

Hakima looked over her shoulder to Audrey, "I happened. This scene... it took about 15 seconds to create. High powered rifle, cross-tip rounds and a need to satisfy my bloodlust. This idiot here is Jake. All of this... it's his fault and he tried to blame me. I told him it would end badly, but he always had this hang-up about being a righteous, fair leader. He said he was in love with me, but I don't know."

Audrey rose to her feet, trying not to see the effect of Hakima's bloodlust. Telling herself that she didn't care, she came up next to Hakima, "You sound like you know him for much longer..."

"Yeah, Jake and I go way back. I... I used him to cure myself from my feelings for girls... Maybe if I was getting fucked brutal enough and long enough, they would go away."

"Hakima... that's not how it works...", Audrey facepalmed as she spoke.

"I know... Before this happened, I realised that my feelings for girls were not going to go away... I've spent most of my teenage-years being ashamed of how I felt. This acceptance-thing... it's very new to me. The body of the young girl over there is Emily. Because of Jake, she was violated who knows how many times before the bandits finally ended her suffering. I was in love with her, but she never knew."

"You were afraid to tell her?"

"She was 15, going on 16... She was a kid. She carried a Hello Kittie toy around. It's what I hate most about my feelings... They go out to very young girls. I couldn't tell her. Of all the things I am, I don't want to be a pedophile."

"Haki.., sexual fantasies are weird. You're 23... it's only four years ago that you were a teenager yourself... You know that you shouldn't act on your feelings, but if you would still be 17, nobody would've cared. Do you actually believe that your brain keeps stride with some law that states an arbitrary cut-off point? And... you have me now. I'm 21... well past barely legal. You know, the fact that you're capable of this kind of slaughter disturbs me more than a sexual fantasy about a high-school chearleader. Or blossoming girl-scout, whatever."

"Let's collect their weapons and supplies. It will be helpful at camp.", Hakima said, eager to stop talking about her feelings.

"Hey, I still have my cheerleader outfit... and I look much younger than I am... so, if we find some privacy sometime, I'll make your fantasies real.", Audrey offered.

"That would so horney if it wasn't so out of place here.", Hakima half spoke, half laughed, "Come on, help me get stuff together."

It took them a few return-trips to get all the stuff to Audrey's car. Weapons, ammunitions, food and even clothes formed the bulk of their haul. As they were getting into the car, Audrey thought aloud, "It creeps me out that they collected women's clothes... they must have raided the suitcases of their victims."

"I guess, dibbs on those low-riders and the red tankie.", Hakima said, "The bandits had taste. Wait, before we go... I can't leave like this... I came here for closure... You don't have to come, but I have to give Emily a burial."

Audrey laid her right hand on Hakima's thigh and softly squeezed, "I don't want you to do that alone, I'll... I'll help you bury her. Be there for you if... if it gets too hard."

Hakima leaned in to Audrey and burried her face in the girl's curls, "I'd like that", she whispered.

**4**

Audrey let herself fall to the ground and screamed. She cried, yelled and pounded the dirt with her fists. Then after a while of raging and trashing out of sheer desperation and anguish, she went limp and just sobbed.

Hakima was calmly looking around and kneeled down next to a group of three mutilated bodies. It was Dana and her twins. Hakima sighed, Burt and George had never ordered evacuation by the looks of it. She knew that it would end like this before she took Audrey on the roadtrip. It would never matter how much she tried to make people see the danger that surrounded them. It's why Hakima was so reluctant to warn people, it was a huge waste of time to warn people who thought it was safe if they couldn't see the danger anywhere.

She looked up towards where Audrey was. Audrey had gotten to her knees and was looking back at Hakima with a deep sadness in her eyes, "You knew that this was going to happen, didn't ya?", it sounded accusive and hateful.

"Yes.", Hakima admitted truthfully, "I've tried hard to make them see the danger. But I needed to do what I did, even if they had taken my warnings for face-value.", Hakima got up and walked over to another body... It was George's. His pistol lay close by and Hakima inspected it. George had expended half the pistol's magazine, "I told them about sound-rules..."

Audrey came over and slapped Hakima over the head, hard, "You lied, you said that the herd wouldn't come here."

Hakima accepted the slap. Audrey was hurting bad and Hakima was prepared to be the focus of Audrey's hurt, "I told them the herd would pass by, but they shouldn't angage any stragglers. I told them to run. They didn't run, because after everything I did... the moment I was gone, Reba, Dana and probably your mother too, started to talk your father and brother into staying and defending. George fired his pistol many times... He was just alerting more walkers..."

"We shouldn't have left! You could've helped! You're a Marine and I know what you can do! We should have stayed..."

"Please stop hitting me, and no, if we had stayed we'd be dead now too.", Hakima readied George's pistol and fired a round into the head of his corpse. She turned to Audrey, who was backing off saying 'no' over and over again, "I have to destroy the brain, otherwise they turn and attack us. You don't want the memory of your family trying to eat you haunting you for the rest of your life."

"And the memory of you shooting their corpses is okay?", Audrey yelled as she turned and ran away. Hakima sighed as she watched Audrey run to her car. "How am I supposed to help her?", Hakima murmured, "I just got here myself. I was looking forward to seeing her wearing her cheerleader outfit..." Going from body to body, Hakima shot each one in the head. It was a job that didn't register much with her. If anything, this had a silver-lining. Hakima wouldn't be standing court-martial on suspicion of performing summary executions this time.

Audrey got into her car and cried with the desperate wail of a deeply hurt woman. Calming down after a while, she saw Hakima walking from body to body and shooting them. Audrey found herself out of love with Hakima. It was replaced with a hatred for the woman. Audrey realised that Hakima had planned it all out. She had warned everybody of the danger of the herd, but the roadtrip, no matter how Hakima tried to spin it, had been her contingency plan. Audrey finally understood who Hakima was. Hakima had calculated the risk coldly and had applied the calculus of war; better to step back and live than to die with a group of people that were dead already.

Death by stupidity was not a cause of death that would be on Hakima's toe-tag, Audrey realised.

Audrey rummaged in a bag they had collected handguns in while at the bandit-camp and selected a pistol at random. She sighed as she placed the pistol to her chin. "No more bad loans...", Audrey whispered. She closed her eyes and pulled the trigger.

Hakima shuddered as she heard the shot fell. She had expected it to happen. Audrey wouldn't have been able to live on without her parents and siblings, not like this. Unlike Hakima, Audrey was raised in a family-environment, with loving support. She would never had gotten over this tragedy, had Hakima tried to prevent Audrey from suicide. Audrey would have lived wishing to be dead and to Hakima, that was worse than being dead or being a walker.

Tears ran freely down Hakima's face. She was alone again. Maybe, that was how an Angel of Death was supposed to be. Not needing to kill to cause death and a curse to those she opened up to.

"Farewell, my friend.", Hakima whispered. She moved on and shot Russel's corpse in the head...

**Thank you so much for reading, it is much appreciated.**

**Now working on:**

**TWD: Hakima 3; The Woodbury Illusion.**


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